This seems a little familiar from when we were growing up doesn't it? Paper dolls that we could play dress up with right? I know that for some people though, when we were growing up, giving them a Barbie Doll was like bloody murder. That would have been my situation. Some how all of mine mysteriously lost their heads....shame.
And those of us that weren't fortunate to have parents that saw right off that bat that we didn't "like" the kind of toy they gave us....we had to make due. So some of us would pretend that Barbie was really G.I. Dyke or something.
I can honestly say that I had the fortune to have two of the most awesome parents in the whole world. My mom is my world and my rock, my dad...he's awesome. I'm a mini copy of him...right down to the way that I talk about dumb ass people and my intolerance for ignorance of any kind... Hell, you catch me on the right day, I end up dressing similar to him by accident. Gotta love a Fresno State Bulldogs sweat shirt with a jacket over it and a Fresno State hat and an awesome pair of blue jeans.
When I was about 16, This is where I was sure to end up. I brought my parents outside into the garage to talk to them and left my brother inside. I didn't want him to see how my parents would react if they took ill to the news I was about to drop on them.....boy was I wrong.(And for the record...my brother new I was gay before I told my parents...sorry ma!)
I looked at both my mom and dad and said in what is now not the exact words...but ya get the hint..."I think I'm gay/lesbian......" I braced myself the hell's fire to rain down on me and the earth to open up and swollow me whole. It never happened. They just kinda looked at one another and back at me with a semi blank stare like "And?" So I thought that they just didn't hear me right..so I repeated it..they looked back at one another, back to me...back them themselves..then me...and finally stated..."We could have told you that when you were 6..."
Needless to say, I was stunned. So I asked them why they didn't help me out earlier on... My mom simply said "Well hunny, we didn't want to make you feel like you HAD to be gay, we had to let you find that out for yourself and make that decision for yourself." (Yes I did play with my brother's G.I. Joes)
That was wow.....12 years ago. And through all of it, my mom and dad have supported me in any decisions I have made. Even if they were the wrong ones...at least I learned a new lesson, they just hoped like all hell that I learned...sometimes I did...I'm human, sue me!
I called my mom about a year and some odd months ago and talked to her seriously for a moment. She has seen me morph over the years from her little girly girl.....into someone getting a little more comfortable in my own skin...to understanding who I am...to understand why my body feels weird at times and why my mental image of myself doesn't match the physical. I told her that I am transgendered. Again I braced myself for the worst. She just simply said "Ok, Your still my kid, I still love ya."
Though she would rather me still be at least some what girly in the aspect of me not having my facial hair and she would rather that I wear an under wire type bra.... She's been a real trooper. I know that it's a hard thing to understand and grasp....and I love her for all of her kind words and support. She knows that my transition would not be fully taking place for quite some time. But she has just came to terms that I am just her child and that no matter what, that I love her. I will be the first to admit, I am a momma's boy. Big time. Even to this day... if she was to call me and tell me that I was grounded to the house....I'd have to fudge it for work and what not...but I'd be bound to listen to her..LOL.
This is the Fender that Brandie gave to me for my birthday. It's damn sweet. It's better then the one I had previously owned. And I cherish it like all hell. Music is my life. I believe that music calms the raging beast with in....or it can wake it up....it can touch your soul...make you cry, make you laugh...make you happy or make you sad.
Music is the universal language...and it's a beautiful one that I am proud to "speak" a little of rather well. Aside from my wife, this guitar makes me smile and makes me feel better when I am feelin kinda sad. It's amazing how much aggression you can take out on a guitar and yet have it sound so beautiful.
And lastly today...I would like to just insert a link to my online store if anyone would like to take a look at it. There are always things for sale there and there is always new graphics that I am trying to develop and put on stuff. If you want something special, say a pic of you and your hubby on a mug or shirt, or what ever...just e-mail me at Reese.Brandie.Ramirez@gmail.com and send it to me as well as with any saying you would like added and a written permission from you to use that photo.
http://www.cafepress.com/bestbutch Yep, that's my store! Check it out!
Just remember, love one another and love your self. No matter who or what you are. If you are a woman who loves "real" men...be proud! If you are a lesbian...be proud! If you are a man who loves "real" women..be proud...if your a man who loves "real" men...rock on...if you are a woman trapped in a man's body but afraid to be you, stand tall, hold your head up and you put on that dress if you feel like it. If you are a man trapped in a woman's body....do the same bro...stand tall and stand proud. Be you and don't be afraid of anyone or anything. Just like my dad told me when I moved to Michigan at the age of 21, every one's stupid...including yourself. Basically, he was just tryin to tell me, be proud of who you are but you don't have to shove it and force it in people's face. Don't look for a confrontation...leave room for questions and understanding. But there will those that will never understand nor want to. Don't stress them, just be you and love YOU.
Peace to y'all. Sorry for makin a long post again...much love y'all.
Reese
